Alone But Never Lonely

 

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I’m not one to talk about my personal life on here. I’ve discussed my personal preferences for television, music, and other entertainment sources, but I’ve stayed away from social/love life. After two years it seems like it’s long overdue for me to give you a little more insight into my life.

In middle school, it was the cool thing to suddenly have a boyfriend. Let’s get real though, middle school relationships were and still are ridiculous. My longest middle school relationship was probably a week with a boy whose name I forget.

For me, things didn’t change that much in high school. I had a “boyfriend” for maybe three months tops. Looking back at it now, it doesn’t even seem correct to call that a relationship—I was 16 and couldn’t even fathom what a relationship was. I went through the rest of high school occasionally “talking” to boys—a term I’ve honestly come to loathe. When you’re 17, texting a boy all day means you’re “talking.” Apparently, talking is a prerequisite to dating in today’s dating culture. I’ll never understand.

Not having a boyfriend in high school made some things more difficult—proms, semi-formals, and plenty of other high school traditions. At the same time though, not having a boyfriend allowed me to do other things much easier—picking a college, making lasting friendships, and having an all around great time; just to name a few. I had plenty of time in high school to figure out where I wanted my life to go, and never once thought about someone else in this plan.

I want to make it clear, that in no way, shape, or form am I slamming those who had relationships in high school. I know people who are still dating and will probably get married one day. That’s just no the experience I had in high school.

My problem isn’t with teenage/early 20s relationships—my problem is with how girls who aren’t in them are perceived. TV shows about a teenage girl pinning over a guy and “feeling like a loser” because she doesn’t have a boyfriend are cliche and tired. I’m actually yawning thinking about them. The girl doesn’t need the boy to feel great—she needs some YSL lipstick and career aspirations.

I spent my high school years worried there was something wrong with me. Did I not have a boyfriend because I was weird or different? I see things much differently now. The amazing thing about college and “the real world” is that the things that I used to try to change/hide in high school, now make me feel empowered. I dress like I want, I act like I want, and I’m so focused on making my goals a reality that I couldn’t care less about judging anyone else.

Now that I’ve been in college for a while, it’s easy to see that something never change—but some actually do. One of the major differences in dating in high school and dating in college—me.

I’m confident in myself and realize that if a guy doesn’t like me back, oh well, it probably wasn’t meant to be. It’s not what’s on the forefront of my mind but if someones comes into my life then that’s great. I’m not actively seeking out or complaining that boys don’t like me. I have bigger things to worry about.

Maybe one day I’ll meet someone who makes me forget all of these things, and they will turn me into the Boston version of Carrie Bradshaw—meaning I’ll always be thinking about my one true love, Big obviously. Until then though, I’ll be just fine with the my friends and family, not to mention my career in the making. I truly wish I had read a blog post with this information when I was fifteen. What this entire rant-like post was really about was one simple thing—it’s okay to be single and it’s okay to want to be. I never realized this until recently, and I’ve honestly never been happier.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Alone But Never Lonely

  1. I love, love, love this post. I feel you. I did have a relationship in high school though (2 years), but I really only started it, and stayed in it because I almost felt pressured like…”That’s what girls are supposed to do right?” I thought I was so strange that I hadn’t had a “long term” relationship when everyone around me was dating guys for a year or more, so I stuck that terrible, horrible, awful relationship out as long as I possibly could for the sake of “fitting in with the crowd” it was horrible and I wish that I would have read something like this when I was 16 and realized, man, I don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy anything! After high school I was single for 6 years and I loved it. I didn’t need a guy and I didn’t want a guy! Well, until the right one stumbled along.

  2. Awesome,awesome post! I wish there was a post like this when I was in highis school, but I’m glad I am reading it now as a college student because I was honestly just thanking about this myself. Again,thanks so much for writing this!

  3. I just saw this post on facebook, and I’m in love. I was actually talking to my friends about this today… about how my relationship status is not really a factor in my life at the moment. I also just love the line… “she needs some YSL lipstick and career aspirations.” Because every girl should have some killer red lipstick.

    Anyways, I think I definitely needed to read this today, so thank you for sharing it on your fb page. 🙂

    xo,
    Zoe | La Vie en Zoe

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